Negotiating Salary might sound scary to you. I’ve been there – that sweaty-palmed moment when you’re trying to ask for more money without sounding greedy or desperate. Whether you’re interviewing for a new gig or finally working up the courage to ask for a raise, I will share some tips that work.
The Reality Check We All Need
Here’s something that blew my mind: According to Payscale’s 2023 Salary Negotiation Report, “Only 37% of workers have ever asked for a raise in their current field, yet 85% of those who asked received some raise.
And here’s the kicker, According to LinkedIn’s research, “Women negotiate their salaries 30% less frequently than men, and when they do negotiate, they typically ask for 30% less money. Let that sink in – we’re not just asking less often, we’re asking for less when we do ask.
Why We're All Freaking Out (But Shouldn't Be)
The Stuff That Keeps Us Up at Night:
- “There are a million other people more qualified than me. I’m lucky they even hired me.”
- “What if they take back the offer? I should just be grateful for anything they give me.”
- “I’m such a fraud – once they find out I don’t know everything, they’ll regret hiring me.”
- “Money is so tight everywhere, they probably don’t have it in the budget.”
- “I’m not good enough to ask for more. I should just take what I’m given and be quiet.”
The Real Deal
- Companies totally expect you to negotiate
- That first salary sets the tone for your whole career
- Not asking costs you serious money over time
- The worst thing that happens? They say no
Before You Walk In: Your Confidence Checklist
Get Your Numbers Straight
- Look up what others in your field make
- Figure out your “I’ll take it” number
- Know your “I’d be thrilled” number
- Think about the whole package (not just salary)
2. Know Your Worth
- Write down your wins
- Get specific about your results
- Save those nice emails from clients/coworkers
- Know how your company’s doing
- Highlight their WIFT (What’s in it for Them)
3. Practice (No, Really)
- Grab a friend and role-play
- Record yourself on your phone
- Time yourself (keep it concise)
- Practice handling pushback
The Actual Conversation That Works
Starting Strong
Instead of mumbling: “Um, I was hoping we could talk about…” Try this: “Thanks for meeting with me. I’m excited to talk about compensation.” If you need help, follow MandiMoney
When They Put You on the Spot
Them: “What are you looking for?” You: “Based on what I’m bringing to the table and what I’m seeing in the market, I’m thinking between [X] and [Y]. What range did you have in mind?”
When the Offer’s Not Great
Skip: “Oh… I was hoping for more…” Try: “I appreciate the offer. Given my experience and the market, I was aiming more for [X]. Can we talk about how to get there?”
Power Moves When Negotiating Salary
1. The Strategic Silence
- Say your number
- Then shut up (seriously)
- Let them squirm a little
- Stay cool
2. The “We’re in This Together” Approach
- Show you’re excited about the work
- Talk about what you’ll achieve together
- Keep it positive
- Focus on solutions
3. The “I Did My Homework” Move
- Drop some market research
- Mention industry standards
- Know what others are making
- Have the facts ready
Beyond the Paycheck
Pay is one of many things you can negotiate for. Here is a list of some others to get your mental juices flowing.
-
- Year-end bonuses
- Stock options
- Working from home
- Training budget
- Extra vacation
- Better health insurance
- 401(k) matching
- Professional memberships
- New laptop or phone
Rookie Mistakes to Avoid
Showing Your Cards Too Early
- Don’t tell them your current salary
- Don’t throw out the first number if you can help it
- Don’t reveal your bottom line
- Don’t blab about other offers too soon
2. Getting Emotional
- Don’t take it personally
- Don’t get defensive
- Don’t apologize for asking
- Don’t make ultimatums
3. Walking in Unprepared
- Don’t wing it
- Don’t skip the research
- Don’t forget about the benefits
- Don’t ignore what the market’s paying
Words to Use When Negotiating Salary
Starting the Conversation
“I’m excited about what we’re doing here, and I’d love to talk about compensation. Based on my research and what I bring to the table, I’m looking at [X] to [Y]. How does that fit with what you had in mind?”
When You Need More
“Thanks for the offer. Given what I’ve achieved [give specific example] and what similar roles are paying, I was thinking more like [X]. How can we bridge that gap?”
Talking About the Whole Package
“While we’re talking numbers, can we also discuss [specific benefit]? I’d love to understand what’s possible there.”
Your Game Plan
Before You Walk In
- Do your homework
- Practice in the mirror
- Know your numbers
- Write down your wins
In the Room
- Stay confident but friendly
- Focus on what you bring
- Listen
- Take notes
After It’s Done
- Get it in writing
- Check all the details
- Ask questions if you’re confused
- Say thanks (even if it’s a no)
Building Your Negotiation Muscles
Track Your Wins
- Save those “great job” emails
- Keep notes on your projects
- Know your numbers
- Remember your impact
2. Be In The Know
- Keep tabs on industry changes
- Talk to people in your field
- Learn new skills
- Watch the competition
3. Keep Your Connections
- Build work friendships
- Network (without being weird about it)
- Find mentors
- Help others when you can
When you start a viable business, perfect is the enemy of profitable. Start simple, learn as you go, and grow based on what actually works.
Want to build the confidence to ask for what you’re worth (and actually get it)? Download my free ‘Wealthy Women’s 5 Habits Workbook‘ – it’s packed with the exact practices that helped me and my clients stop settling for less and start building real wealth.