Money moves are hereditary. You can get them from your parents. Many say our money moves as adults are deeply rooted in our childhood experiences and observations. Our family’s messages help shape our learned behaviors and values regarding spending, saving and investing. Many heard horror stories or harsh money advice growing up. Many households saw talks of money as taboo and rarely brought it up. Lastly, many Black Americans grew up not trusting the banking system. As a result a community of individuals who were scared to take risk or trust financial institutions were born.
As a child many never had conversations about money or bills. They knew not to leave the lights on in multiple rooms, nor go in and out the house, forced to choose one or the other. Some never quite understood why. Only seeing these as just the rules. Oftentimes it was to save money on the utility bills by not letting cold or hot air inside the house. Most individuals growing up in poverty at one or another point in their life experienced the electricity and water being off in the house but made no connection that this would be due to failure to pay the bill.
Personal Finance experts give instructions exactly how to budget and fix your finances. One important step to always mention is it starts with YOU. It doesn’t matter who is teaching the lesson or how many ways they demonstrate it. The message will not resonate unless you are ready and willing to do the work. Nobody said it would be an easy journey or that you would easily find all the answers. However, it will always start with you. Fixing your finances might look completely different for you than the next person.
Money Moves Are Relational
The way we see and use money, as well as, the way we feel about money is relational. It can be developed based on our experiences early in life. For this reason it can be a lot harder than just cutting out on coffee a few days a week to eliminate bad spending habits. Many times it might be necessary to see why you are spending. For example, many children who grew up in a food scarce environment transform to food hoarding adults. Constantly buying food that is not needed nor can fit in their house because they refuse to be without again. Additionally many children who grew up struggling financially transform to shopaholics. They have experienced being without for a huge chunk of their life and now as an adult want to buy everything because nobody can say no.
When Do I Need Help With My Spending Habits?
The best way to determine if you have a deeper issue is to think about your money story. What does it look like? Failed budget attempts? New Year’s resolutions that failed before February. If you’ve tried every budget around and had no luck, this might be a sign that there are deeper issues. This doesn’t mean you tried to budget for 2 days and gave up now you need help. This means you honestly put effort into changing your money story and failed horribly but not because you didn’t try. If you are not ready to take your money woes seriously then I assure you are not ready to do the work it takes to change your relationship with money.
The Resolution
To get to the bottom of your money habits it will take a serious look in the mirror. Be honest with yourself and review your financial statements and daily money habits. Locate the strengths and weaknesses. This is the beginning of your financial journey and it’s important that you are honest with yourself about where you need help. Many times a therapist is needed to understand where your thoughts about money developed to help begin the healing process. It’s hard to believe something so long ago can be affecting your current spending habits.
The Journey
This journey has many phases. The key part to work on is knowing how much money is going in and coming out. When it is going out, where is it going? How much money is going towards bills vs spending? Are you comfortable paying your current bills? Living Paycheck to Paycheck? Is your Emergency Fund funded? Ask yourself these questions and this will give you your starting point. The current economy does not extend grace to savers so I highly recommend looking into options to invest. However, you will need to have a financial foundation to build your portfolio. Create a budget and organize where money is going. Assign goals to your bank accounts. Separate bank accounts based on goals. Build your savings to be ready for an unexpected expense, eliminate debt to free up more of your hard earned money, and make smarter money choices.
Money moves can be developed as early as childhood. However, this is no reason to keep bad money habits. You can change your money story, it only takes making the first step. Take a deep breath and take action now. Create a budget, eliminate debt, build savings, and learn how to invest…. Make sure you are having conversations about money with your children. Be open and honest with them about money matters to help end the cycle.
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